Mr. Wang thinks he is clever, but he always does foolish things.
One day he sees a beautiful bell at the top of a door. “Oh! How nice! I will take it home.” He thinks, “What can I do?” After a while he has a “good” idea. “Aha! I have an idea now. I can plug my ears. Then I will not hear the ring when I take off the bell.”
Then he does so. But as soon as he takes off the bell, the owner opens the door. “What ate you doing?” the owner says angrily.
王先生总以为自己很聪明，实际上他总干傻事。
一天，他看见一户人家的门头有个很漂亮的铃铛。“啊，真漂亮啊！我要把它拿回家去。”他自言自语道：“我该怎么做呢？”过了一会儿他想到了一个“好”主意。“啊哈！我有办法了！我把耳朵堵上，拿铃铛的时候就听不见铃声了。”
于是他就这样做了。可是他刚拿下铃铛，屋子的主人就打开门，怒气冲冲地说：“你在干什么？”
The little John taught his parrot to speak "follow me to say that I can walk."
"I can walk." said the parrot following.
"I can speak."
"I can speak." The parrot simulated as almost the same as he did.
"I can fly." "You talk big." The parrot said without thinking for a while.
小强教他鹦鹉说话：“跟着我说：我会走路。”
“我会走路。”鹦鹉跟着说。
“我会说话。”
“我会说话。”鹦鹉学得跟他差不多一模一样。
“我会飞。”
“你就吹吧。”鹦鹉想都没想就说。
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa’s lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled.
Finally the little girl asks, “Grandpa, did God make you?”
“He sure did honey, a long time ago,” replies her grandpa.
“Well, did God make me?” asks the little girl.
“Yes, He did, and that wasn’t too long ago,” answers her grandpa.
“Boy,” says the little girl, “He’s sure doing a lot better job these days, isn’t He?”
一个小女孩坐在她外婆的腿上开始研究外婆脸上的皱纹。她用小手指划过外婆苍老的脸颊又抚摸了一下自己的脸，然后很疑惑地问：“外婆，上帝创造了你吗？”
外婆回答道：“当然。很久以前。”
小女孩又问：“我呢？”
外婆答：“当然，在不久以前。”
“哦。”小女孩恍然大悟，“在那些日子他进步了很多呀~”
At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults hide at least one dark secret and this makes it very easy to blackmail them merely by saying, "I know the whole truth."
So Little Johnny decides to try it out. When he arrives home from school that day, he says to his mother, "I know the whole truth." His mother looks shocked, quickly finds $20, and gives it to him, saying, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, Little Johnny waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." His father looks shocked, quickly finds $40, and gives it to him, saying, "Just don't tell your mother."
The next morning, Little Johnny is on his way to school when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy decides to try again. "I know the whole truth."
The mailman drops his mailbag, throws opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real daddy a nice big hug!"
小强在学校听一个同学说，大多数成年人都至少藏着一个不可告人的秘密，而且这让他们很容易被敲诈，只要说句“整件事我都知道了”就行。
所以小强打算试一下。那天他从学校一回到家里，就对妈妈说：“整件事我都知道了。”他妈吓坏了，赶紧找出20块钱给他，说：“千万别告你爸啊。”
小强挺得意，等到他爸下班回家，迎上去就说：“整件事我都知道了。”他爸吓坏了，赶紧找出40块钱给他，说：“千万别告诉你妈啊。”
第二天早上，小强出门去上学，看见邮递员在他家大门口。这孩子决定再试试：“整件事我都知道了。”
邮递员撇下邮包，张开双臂，说：“那就给你亲爹来个大大的拥抱吧！”
A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, "Mummy, why is my name Petal?"
The mother replied, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The next baby walked up and asked, "Mummy why is my name Rose?" she
replied,"Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head."
The last baby walked up to her and said, "BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY."
The mother replied, "Please be quiet, Refrigerator."
妈妈坐沙发上看着书，一个孩子走过来，说：“妈咪，为什么我名叫花瓣呀？”
妈妈回答：“因为你刚出生时，有片花瓣正掉在你脑袋上。”
第二个孩子走过来，说：“妈咪，为什么我名叫玫瑰呢？”
妈妈回答：“因为你刚出生时，有朵玫瑰正掉在你脑袋上。”
最后一个孩子走过来，说：“梆啷咔啦哗啦呀唿啦撒嗒嘶砰轰啦嘡。”
妈妈说：“快别吵吵了，冰箱。”
A lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one。
Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: "An excellent choice, madam.You look at least ten years younger with this hat on!"
To his dismay, the lady took off her hat at once and said: "I don't want a hat that makes me look ten years older as soon as I take it off. Show me some more hats!"
一位妇女到一家帽子店买帽子。她很挑剔，用了很长时间才选好了一顶。
已经忍耐到极限的售货员害怕她再改变主意，便恭维她：“你做了极好的选择，夫人。你戴上这顶帽子看上去起码年轻十岁！”
但令他沮丧的是，这位女士马上摘下了她的帽子说：“我不想要一顶摘下来便使我立刻显得老十岁的帽子。多拿一些帽子给我看看！”
我需要两篇 初中的 英语 小短文 不要太长 简单就OK！有翻译
谁更危险？
鲨鱼是一个警醒全世界游泳者和冲浪者的一个单词。许多人认为海里遍布着危险的鲨鱼，并以为鲨鱼都想攻击人类。
但是大多数种类的鲨鱼从来不攻击人类。一共有超过350种不同的鲨鱼，只有4种对人类来说是非常危险的。他们是白指针鲨，老虎鲨，公牛鲨和白鳍鲨。
鲨鱼以小鱼，海豹及别的海洋动物为食。他们通过看，听，闻来寻找食物。在水里它们的听力非常灵敏，也能在几百里以外地地方闻到食物的味道。鲨鱼有又大又锋利的牙齿。当它们找到动物去吃的时候，它们把食物撕扯粉碎。
人们总是害怕鲨鱼。但是鲨鱼并不总攻击人类。全世界每年只有75起鲨鱼攻击人类的事件，只有10人被鲨鱼所杀。但是，每年，人类杀死数以百万计的鲨鱼。所以谁更危险呢？鲨鱼还是人类呢?
英语短文及翻译一篇，初中水准。
（1）
1 Chinese New Year
Chinese New Year is the most important festival for Chinese people all over the world. It is also called the Spring Festival or the Lunar New Year. The exact date of the Spring Festival on the Western calendar changes from year to year. However, Chinese New Year takes place between January 1 and February 19.
On the Chinese calendar every year has an animal's name. These animals are the rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, ram, monkey, rooster, dog and pig. A Chinese legend says that these twelve animals had a race. The first year was named after the rat, the winner. The other eleven years were named according to the order in which the animals arrived in the race. The clever rat jumped onto the ox's back, and then at the end jumped over the ox's head to arrive first!
The Chinese believe that a person born in a particular year has some of the characteristics of that animal.
翻译
1个中国新年
Chinese新年是全世界中国人民的最重要的节日。 它也称春节或月球新年。 春节的确切的日期在西部日历的每年改变。 然而，中国新年发生在1月1日和2月19日之间。
On中国日历每年有动物的名字。 这些动物是鼠、黄牛、老虎、兔子、龙、蛇、马、公羊、猴子、雄鸡、狗和猪。 中国传奇说这十二个动物有种族。 第一年以鼠，优胜者命名。 其他十一年根据动物在种族到达的命令被命名了。 聪明的鼠跳在黄牛的上，在末端然后跳过黄牛的头到达先!
The汉语相信出生一特殊年人有某些那个动物的特征。
（2）
2 A Teenager's Joke: Guidelines for Doing Schoolwork
My school had a policy about homework. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night doing homework. This is how I use the time for my work.
Fifteen minutes looking for assignment; Eleven minutes calling a friend for the assignment; Twenty three minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and does not like teenagers; Eight minutes in the bathroom; Ten minutes getting a snack; Seven minutes checking the TV Guide;
Six minutes telling my parents that the teacher never explained the assignment;
Ten minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
翻译
2个少年的笑话： 做的Schoolwork指南
My学校有关于家庭作业的一项政策。 学生不应该度过超过每做家庭作业的晚的九十分钟。 这是我怎么使用我的工作的时期。 寻找任务的Fifteen分钟; 告诉十一的分钟任务的一个朋友; 解释老师为什么的二十三分钟是手段，并且不喜欢少年; 八分钟在卫生间里; 得到快餐的十分钟; 检查电视指南的七分钟;
Six周详告诉我的父母老师未曾解释任务;
Ten周详在厨房用桌等待的妈妈或爸爸要做任务的坐。
People are so busy these days that many people have no time to cook. This becames a problem, because most families love home cooking! The food tastes good and worm, and a family meal brings everyone together. In some families, meals are often the only times everyone sees one another at the same time.
Another reason people enjoy home cooking is that it is often a way of showing love. A parent who makes some cookies is not just satisfying a child's sweet tooth. She or he is sending a message. The message says, “ I care about you enough to spend an hour making cookies that you will eat up in fifteen minutes if I let you.”
There is also something about the smell of home cooking. The smell of home cooking pleases people of all ages. It makes most of us feel good and loved--even if we are the ones doing the cooking! Next time you smell a cake making, stop for a moment and pay attention to your mood.
翻译：
近来人们都很忙，以至于很多人无暇做饭。由于大部分家庭喜欢在家做饭，这就变成了一个难以解决的问题！家里的饭菜温暖可口，在家吃饭可以把全家人聚在一起。在一些家庭，吃饭时是一家人同时见面的唯一时间。
人们喜欢在家做饭的另一个原因是，这是一种表示爱意的常用手段。一个家长为孩子做甜饼干不但是为了满足孩子的嗜好，这也是在向孩子传递信息。这个信息是：“我很关心你，我花费了一个钟头来为你做甜饼干。只要我同意，你可以在一刻钟内把它们全吃光。”
再有，就是家里做饭的气味儿了。家里做饭的气味儿会让老少家人都很愉悦。这种味道会让我们大多数人感到舒服和关爱——即使是做饭的人也是一样的感受！当下次你闻到做蛋糕的味道时，请先静候一会儿来体验一下你的心情。
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